A desperate housewife is what I was, until one day I wasn't. My world as I knew it was gone. Trying to get to my new normal was proving to be harder than I could've imagined. You see a woman can only take so much "Baby this and baby that...." or "I can....., I have...... I will" before she gets tired of the bullshit and gives up on
Mr. Right and settles for Mr. Right Now.
Because at least Mr. Right Now knows his place and doesn't ask for too much. "I can do this", I said to myself more times than I care to admit. No, he didn't rock my world or even rock the boat that was sitting in the ocean somewhere in the world. However .......
I was willing to invest in a few AA, AAA & C batteries if I had to.
Until "He" happened, and made me go against everything I ever believed in and let go. " He" made me feel like no one ever has before. "He" got me and I got him. I refused to believe that "He" could be real. Figured I wouldn't have to take off the mask and show him who I really was. The sex was off the chain and seemingly that was what we wanted from one another.
"No strings attached" is what we kept telling each other. I believed that we could stop anytime we wanted but somewhere along the way "He" became my addiction. I'm talking about a have you sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth waiting for your next fix, kind of addiction.
The lie to your momma, so she can keep the kids while you get a hit, kind of addiction. I have to have him and nothing else can satisfy this feeling but him. So I sit and I wait, until I can feel him inside me again and get that high that only "He" can give me.
My favorite quote from the brilliant Audre Lorde says, ” If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” I love this quote because anyone who knows me knows that I truly dance to the beat of my own drum and play by my own rules. I can’t imagine living by someone else’s definition of me, that wouldn’t be fun at all. After all, isn’t having fun one of the main reasons for living?
I have been on this earth for 43 years and have been through a few wars. When I share my story with people, they are amazed that I am still standing and still sane. Sometimes I can’t believe it myself, but sanity is a matter of perspective. How sane can one really be when they prefer to refer to oneself in 3rd person?? All I know is, but for the grace of God, I am still standing. I have a wonderful support network of friends and family who have held me up when I felt like I couldn’t do it myself. Now here I am, 43 years old, divorced and two years from becoming an empty nester. Life is just beginning for me.
I chose to blog as Ms. Kiesha and Dr .Kiesha 2U because much like the characters in Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, I am not two separate personalities living in the same body. I am one person who allows her alter ego, Ms. Kiesha, to unapologetically be who she is.
I hope my readers will enjoy getting to know me through blogging as I begin to open up and share my journey from Ms. Kiesha to Dr. Kiesha 2U.